Insights into Moving Forward

We must be still and still moving.
Into another intensity...
-T.S. Eliot

I didn't know how to start my next blog. I've been worrying about my next post for some time now. At the end of each of my previous posts I have felt a certain sense of relief, or better yet release. It's as if each time I wrote I was dipping my foot deeper into the murky waters of my true self. The deeper I wade in, the more my Ego gets washed away. Lately, I have not been writing, and thus have not been wading. I am standing ankle deep in my Self but too afraid to sink further in. What swims in the dark waters of my unconscious? Will I be able to leave this pool and still recognize myself? Fear and anxiety have left me feeling unsure of my next move.

Sometimes the simplest things can help me feel unstuck. Today is  a new day and I am open to its many possibilities. After speaking to my good friend Cara I realized what today truly held for me. Our conversation, our ability to openly share with one another, renewed my self confidence. Whether she realizes it or not she encouraged me to continue forward, to move without fear. Her ability to listen to me intuitively and compassionately made me feel safe and secure. I was able to say aloud things that had been brewing in my mind. By listening to me she had given life to what had previously been only ideas. It's funny how words work...once you say them out loud they don't belong to you anymore.Hearing myself explain some of my recent experiences gave me a slightly different perspective and I appreciate the input I received from Cara as well.

After we spoke I immediately sat down to write, but ended up stumbling upon a poem called East Coker by T.S. Eliot instead. I read it aloud to myself. The words spoke to me because I felt an immediate relationship with the narrator. It encouraged me to write from my heart, even if it sounds silly or incoherent. I know at this moment that I am rambling, and yet I feel the need to continue. Not just for me, but for you, too (whoever you are). I hope that you can connect with me. If you feel what I feel, even sometimes, then I have shared what I'm meant to share with you. You don't have to do it alone. There is always someone who understands what you are going through and there's always someone who can encourage you to be the truest form of yourself. The encouragement I can offer is this: there is literally nothing more important than knowing who You are. It is important not to let anyone convince you otherwise (including yourself!). Sometimes the person holding us back isn't a friend or family member, it's ourselves, our own egos. Self doubt, grief, worry, fear, anxiety, selfishness, guilt...these are all creations of your ego meant to control you. They hold you back from doing the things your gut, your heart, your soul knows are right. Sometimes it can be hard to hear your heart clearly over all the noise and commotion of the ego. Perhaps this visual will help describe what I'm talking about:

Imagine a jar of mud, rocks and water.When that jar is shaken up it is difficult to see the water clearly. It becomes murky and dark. Now imagine the jar sitting still on a table. The stillness allows all the debris to settle at the bottom, leaving only the clear water at the top.

Sometimes the only way to move forward is to stop and be still (or Let It Be). Allow your anxieties to settle and look inside yourself for the calm, happy, loving spirit that is inside of you. Sometimes, when you do this your next action becomes clear to you. You can move ahead feeling lighter and more self-assured.

I hope this helped even one person. I thank you for your time. I thank Cara for helping me move forward. Love and peace to all.