Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Insights into Learning to be Wrong

Five enemies of peace inhabit with us - avarice, ambition, envy, anger, and pride; if these were to be banished, we should infallibly enjoy perpetual peace. - Petrarch


I try not to regret things anymore, but can't help but feel ashamed when I think about all the times I have pushed an issue or an argument while knowing at some level that I was wrong for doing so. To humble oneself and admit being wrong is a difficult thing to do. I believe the difficulty lies in finding the balance between pride and humility. 


I had a philosophy professor in college who described living a virtuous life in this way: imagine you are in a small wooden boat and you are navigating your way down a narrow pass. On either side of you are tall, steep cliffs. The water near the cliffs is shallow and rocky. If you guide your ship down the center of the pass the water is deep and free of obstacles and you can easily avoid hitting rocks and sinking your boat, but if you veer off course too far to the left or to the right you will run the risk of sinking your small ship.


Now imagine that on the east cliff sits humility. To be humble some of the time is a good thing, but if you are too humble you run the risk of losing your self-confidence and yielding to the will of others when you should not be doing so. If you steer your boat in this direction to often you will likely sink into unhappiness, low-self esteem and self-pity.


On the west cliff sits pride. This appears to be a finer direction, but when you approach the cliff you start to become too head-strong and overly confident. You don't listen to the advice of anyone else when they tell you to slow down and be wary of the sharp, jagged rocks. If you steer to far in this direction self-destruction surely awaits you as well.


As I navigate through my own life I am learning to be conscious of my little boat and the rocky shores around me. Living a virtuous life should not be a taboo topic saved only for Sunday church sermons and college philosophy classes! The well-being of your soul is of the utmost importance. As Socrates said, "It is not living that matters, but living rightly." Being virtuous, however, takes a LOT of work. Being conscious of our actions, weighing the consequences and taking responsibility for what we do are not easy things to do (especially when we are so "busy" all the time). I reflect about my actions, thoughts, feelings, and emotions often...but even in doing so I tend to do it in a prideful way. I am trying so hard to be more humble and allow myself to give in to the fact that not every thing I do will lead to the outcomes I want and that even though I'm being reflective doesn't mean I'm making the most virtuous decisions. Part of my problem, I think, is letting go of the idea that I have to do it alone. I would never look at a close friend of mine and suggest that he achieves personal growth all by himself, so why do I seem so sure that I can do it myself? On the other hand, I also like to think that if I act rightly others around me will also do it...but because of this I bring upon myself the mentality that I can control, manipulate or influence the actions of those around me. Sometimes, when I'm clear headed I can see the folly in this, but I still make more mistakes than I would like to admit.
I hope this is a real game.
I am going through a period of great change in my life. The changes are both internal and external. I'm having trouble guiding my ship through the pass, but am learning to utilize all of my resources to get through safely. You, my dear readers, are part of this process for me. Writing helps keep me on course and motivates me to do the right thing. I hope that you can find the tools you need to navigate your own path. I will leave you with a couple more quotes from Socrates that help me keep a clear head in these matters. Safe travels, my friends.

Be as you wish to seem. - Socrates               
Beware the barrenness of a busy life. - Socrates

4 comments:

  1. There is a whole major world religion dedicated to the "middle way". I'm not proselytizing, though- believe me. I'm not a Buddhist myself, because I am perpetually unable to commit to a particular religious tradition.

    I find trying the answer the question of the "right" way to live is inherently treacherous. Not because there isn't right and wrong, but because my little human mind is generally too feeble for the task. I try to dedicate myself to what I love, and keep my over-zealous mind at arms length. Usually I fail. Which then gives me an opportunity to practice compassion.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Be as you wish to seem, eh? I wish to seem like a badass dude, with a motorcycle and nice smile. :)

    I think you're doing better than you think.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Often I come back to this...

    Matthew 7:13,14

    13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Just getting caught up on your blog. I echo what Erich said and I know you're doing better than you think. You've always been your harshest critic. Don't beat yourself up any more. Just cause you messed up doesn't mean you have to do it again.

    ReplyDelete